i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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