Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
