I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
