it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
