i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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