It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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