I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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