When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
