The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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