and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize