Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
