Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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