sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
