I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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