Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
