I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
