you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
