He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
