I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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