so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
