I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
