it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
