and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
