everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
