We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
