please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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