just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
