sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
