To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
