I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
