It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize