Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
