He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There r osticjed everywhere
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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