shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
