She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
