the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
