either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
