Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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