Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize