You just made me feel so damn special
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
