i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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