Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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