im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
