Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
