...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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