We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
