ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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