Someone shit on the floor
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
