you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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