Buhtt sex?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize