I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
