you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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