so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
