Dual....:-)
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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