at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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