no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
