Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
