I don't think brook has ever known best
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize