Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
