all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I die, sorry about rent.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
