note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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