So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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