how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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