i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
