I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize