Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
