weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
third nipple confirmed
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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