you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
