Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
