Will you blow on my dice?
Pappa wants mamma naked
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I love you. Go after that dick
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