I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
