I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
