My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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