suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
