What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just cropdusted the office
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My balls are so social today.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
