if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize